REGRETS: Getting Stuck in the past

Regrets: Getting Stuck in the Past

by Fr. Ron Gonzales

Regrets...we all have them somewhere along the way. Actions we’ve taken or not taken, wishing for a "do-over" to make different choices. Often on retreat, we are reminded of how stuck we can become with regrets, sometimes punishing ourselves each time we remember, living in guilt and ultimately unable to detach from them.

Embracing God's Grace and Mercy

With God's grace and mercy, we might consider three essential steps: a Teaching, a Challenge, and an Invitation.

1. A Teaching

Self-Reflection: What have I learned about myself?

Future Avoidance: What have I learned to avoid in the future?

Divine Forgiveness: What have I learned about the God who forgives and still blesses me?

2. A Challenge

Discipline: Can I be more disciplined to avoid making the same mistake?

Change Belief Patterns: Am I willing to change a belief pattern or a habit, even if it means seeking the help of a counselor, a priest, or a close friend?

3. An Invitation

Self-Acceptance: Can I accept myself as a loved sinner, one who makes mistakes but is willing to forgive themselves?

Forward Focus: Am I determined to make better choices moving forward without looking back?

Regrets can only be useful in the spiritual life if we consider how they can help us evolve as mature disciples. By reflecting on these teachings, challenges, and invitations, we can transform our regrets into opportunities for growth and spiritual maturity.