Sin Against Me - A Protocol

In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus provides guidance for what to do when someone has sinned against me. This process can be an effective way to resolve conflicts and foster understanding and reconciliation in our relationships after a situation of sin against me has happened. The previous week we handled how to tackle regular interactions, not sinful ones. Thankfully our faith has some pointers in this sticky situation as well. However, it is important to follow the steps in the correct order in order to avoid making an even worse mess of an already bad situation.

Step 1: Talk to the person in private. It is important to first address the issue directly with the person who has sinned against you. This allows for a more open and honest conversation and gives the person an opportunity to apologize and make amends, or correct my understanding of what went on.

Step 2: Bring in a person who may facilitate the conversation. If the issue is not resolved after the initial conversation (shown by defensiveness, gaslighting, posturing, etc.) , it may be helpful to bring in a neutral third party who can facilitate further dialogue and help mediate the situation, or simply be a witness. 

Step 3: Bring the issue to the community. If the issue is still not resolved after these efforts, it may be necessary to bring it to the attention of the community. This might mean telling others that interact with this person in order to protect them, it might mean involving legal/judicial entities, depending on the situation. If we skip steps 1 and 2 the issue just get more polarized and things may escalate unnecesarily. 

Following this process means seeking reconciliation, conversion and dialogue. This process promises that we can foster stronger relationships and courageously reclaim our voice without getting stuck when something is not moving forward. This process recognizes that we live in a sinful world too.